(no subject)

[nicosian]

walk dog, have shower, go to ikea ( need frames. and yes I can go to ikea for exactly what i need and walk out with exactly what I originally intended and nothing more.)

I have decided to purse a life of temporary medicinal alcoholism. Well that and when i get asked what my drinking habits are per week, where they consider a drink a week or so "moderate", my "uh, three a year" is indication that perhaps I'm slacking.

And whatever, I did this after the second miscarriage. Its easier than dealing with the well intentioned but aggravating comments people make.

Somehow, people seem to assume I'm apparently stupid or that in this entire saga that no one's EVER told me 1/3-1/2 end in miscarriage. Why anyone would neglect to tell the miscarrier that fact is something to ponder.

I know genetics. infact, this doc was thrilled that he didn't have to "dumb it down.", I said 'sir, I've taken a second year genetics course and I'm pretty well versed in the intricacies of genetic recombination and such, so just out with it, we don't need to lower the bar much here."

This isn't a case of oops we thought we were pregnant but maybe it was just a heavy late period. This was, in the last round, 11 weeks of extreme nausea.

This has gone on three times. The odds of that are "re set" every pregnancy, but after three?

If you'd never ridden in a plane, but the first three times you did, it skidded off the runway and burst into flames, and people said "oh it happens 1 out of 3 times but you still have a good chance of a flight", would you get on that plane if you were the only one as a passenger every time?

Yeah. I don't think so.

Comments

[surrey-sucks.livejournal.com]

I have decided to purse a life of temporary medicinal alcoholism.

Me too! Well, I'm not pretending it's for medicinal purposes...it's for educational purposes...

1/3-1/2 end in miscarriage

I didn't realize that miscarriages were that common.

'sir, I've taken a second year genetics course and I'm pretty well versed in the intricacies of genetic recombination and such

Love it. What kind of things did he tell you? I'm wondering how he would talk to someone who knows genetics, versus someone who doesn't even know what a freaking chromosome is.

[nicosian.livejournal.com]

we discussed the results, which showed a lethal gene combo on the 7th chromosome, and how that may have happened, ( balanced transposition vs unbalanced) and I suppose if it was a more lay person, he'd have to go into more explanation, or just say "it was a genetic defect" and leave it at that.

If nothing else, the ability to understand this stuff without having it dumbed off for me is nice. My old doc loved that she didn't have to worry about using big sciencey terms with me.

I mean, it still sucks straight up, but I'm at least not talked down to on the science front of it.

[surrey-sucks.livejournal.com]

lethal gene combo on the 7th chromosome

Interesting (but unfortunate, obviously).

If a doctor just said, "It's a genetic defect," like a young child, I'd ask "how?" and "why?"

[nicosian.livejournal.com]

And this is where people tend to see doctors as arrogant, because its hard to explain in 4 sentences or less, to someone with no science background at all and then they'd run off to friends and go "see, he can't explain it!"

It doesn't make things better, i mean, this kind of error in various forms seems to KEEP happening to us, though we appeared all good in our karyotypes.

And yeah, 1/3 of pregnancies go officially wrong, but they think the number's higher because lots more miscarriages are missed entirely, because many women don't know they're really pregnany till 4-8 weeks, ( tho sooner now with home tests, or like me, nausea three days after conception)

Its rare for women to have three random miscarriages like this. Most one, some even 2. three gets into the zone of "something's wrong" and its then again rarer to wind up with 3 and have no identifiable reason.

we apparently have an 80% chance of a GOOD pregnancy with each try but then the question is, which will it be, the 4th? the 7th try? This still isn't good news no matter how one looks at it.

But then I think with 99% good odds, I'd still land in that 1%.

And so that leaves us here where despite belief, the news of no bad news is not good news at all. That's the part people can't grasp and wishes and prayers and good lucks just don't really help. As if I wasn't doing that already? As if I wasn't hopeful enough?

[nicosian.livejournal.com]

And this is where people tend to see doctors as arrogant, because its hard to explain in 4 sentences or less, to someone with no science background at all and then they'd run off to friends and go "see, he can't explain it!"

It doesn't make things better, i mean, this kind of error in various forms seems to KEEP happening to us, though we appeared all good in our karyotypes.

And yeah, 1/3 of pregnancies go officially wrong, but they think the number's higher because lots more miscarriages are missed entirely, because many women don't know they're really pregnany till 4-8 weeks, ( tho sooner now with home tests, or like me, nausea three days after conception)

Its rare for women to have three random miscarriages like this. Most one, some even 2. three gets into the zone of "something's wrong" and its then again rarer to wind up with 3 and have no identifiable reason.

we apparently have an 80% chance of a GOOD pregnancy with each try but then the question is, which will it be, the 4th? the 7th try? This still isn't good news no matter how one looks at it.

But then I think with 99% good odds, I'd still land in that 1%.

And so that leaves us here where despite belief, the news of no bad news is not good news at all. That's the part people can't grasp and wishes and prayers and good lucks just don't really help. As if I wasn't doing that already? As if I wasn't hopeful enough?