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Dec. 13th, 2013 02:41 amHoboy what a day. Got a huge amount of tidying done in advance of the weewatch rep coming to take care of the daycare contract on monday, and got pictures printed for greatgrandma, and cards from Stirling for Oma and greatgrandma. if R wants any for his fam,its on him.
lots of people gushing over Stirling's grey-blue eyes and his insanely calm demeanor. He's not a zombie, oh he can whine like a pro when he needs a bottle or diaper change, but he's pretty chill and I think that's from how we just kinda incorporated him into day to day life along side us. We didn't really change anything we do, we just adapted slightly but the routines stayed the same.
I've opted to let Stirling indulge in christmas stuff for his relative's sake but R and I opt out like the atheists we are. We are raising Stirling atheist, but indulging secular aspects of the holidays.
I nearly dropped him in the bath today. And he whacked over an uncapped diet coke and shorted out the macbook. R fixed it.
reading more of "bringing up bebe" and I really do see how we're doing the euro style parenting she's writing about, how she doesn't tend to hear french parents proclaim "I'm a bad mother", and I agree it's a terrible thing to accuse ourselves of for being less than perfect. Its one thing if you chain your kid to the bedpost and feed him rotten veg while you shoot heroin and service half the suburbs on hands and knees, but if you've failed to do something minor, don't fucking sweat it. I DO try to not measure my parenting skill by the mis=steps we make but by the little victories, that I got him to giggle his ass off again by tickling his ears, that we came home from a walk in the cold all smiles and rosy cheeked. (margaret....I know you apply the "i'm a bad mother" routine often. Please stop. It hurts my heart to see you constantly harp on your own self with your wonderful kids and your love for them. Just...y'know. give yourself a break.)
I also am trying to be more aware that R and I do things differently, and that we both make mistakes and its exhausting so cut each other a break. He wasn't too thrilled with the shorted macbook, and I should have had a cap on the bottle but in my tired haze, i thought there was. oops.
The author notes that it's good, healthy, normal for adults to have a balance of kid free time for themselves too. And this is something i wish we could do better but we lack a grandma nearby to babysit. Still, I do believe it's important. I'm still grappling with a bit of guilt for leaving him with a daycare to finish my diploma and telling myself it IS ok to go to the studio early and stay till closing to get my work done, R does it, I should be able to as well. He's only going to daycare 3 days a week, the rest he's with us.
And I just started the chapter on how they teach kids to eat and this is one thing I learned living in Vancouver: kids will generally try anything and should. I don't agree with the notion that kid food should be bland. We give Stirling tastes of what we're eating all the time. A bit of egg here, a taste of sauce there, a bit of yogurt, a taste of creamcheese...little things. He's already showing interest when we eat, he watches us intently. He's not unfamiliar with the idea that the spoon goes in the foodhole, even if his aim is right off. he has a sippy-bottle we're working into things because he wants to hold the bottle now.
As my doc in vancouver said "kids in other cultures eat what the parents eat." Upside too, the new babyfood offerings now seem so much more interesting than the mushystuff we had as kids. pear was a hit with him. At the rate he's gunning formula now, we should be starting him on proper baby servings quite soon.
friday is adventure day to the museum, gallery or aquarium and in this week's, it's the museum and if he starts channelling his Dino Rawring act again I'll just take him to the dino section and his rawrs will blend in with all the other kids going bugfucknuts in there too.:D
because sometimes, ya just gotta rawr.
( oh and on a friend's FB, one of her friends snottily posted a "study" that indicated childless women were SMARTER than ones with kids. I don't think a lobotomy came with the c sec, and in ways my own brain has grown to adapt to challenge his growing mind too. I don't think I'm "stupider" for having him and it was just this rotten thing to say. I respect those who opt to be childfree, this isn't a task you should feel obligated to take on, but no need to get shitty about it. On the flip side, parents, stop martyring yourself to your kids.)
I was trying to explain what having Stirling did for my creative/personal self. Confidence. No, really. I am more focussed and more confident in my work, and in dealing with people about what I need, and in general. There's a bit of "small boy watching, set the example" but I also felt a huge drive to maintain my own identity and it requires some self confidence to keep people from just going "Yer a mommy!" and nothing more. I come home from the studio exhausted and grimy and happy and i love my days with him too.
I find I doubt myself much less. I find I also have less patience for stupid adults.
One more semester to go. I have pictures of him at my bench and in april I'll have my diploma and I look forward to my wee boy in the audience when I get it. He'll be far too young to really understand right now, but I have a pretty pair of rubies, his birthstone, and one of them will be made into something just right for him.
I had an epic shitty abusive childhood in poverty and anger and rage and isolation. I want him to have so much better. I want him to know boundaries and love and respect and laughter. I think we're doing on on that front.
Anyway. got up to sit with him while the humidifier ran for a bit, wee dry coughs from our crazy dry winters.
time for me to dream of novels and scenes and work out the writing in my head and hopefully get the last half of the drafts done. Because later, there's dinosaurs and a reef tank to go check out.
lots of people gushing over Stirling's grey-blue eyes and his insanely calm demeanor. He's not a zombie, oh he can whine like a pro when he needs a bottle or diaper change, but he's pretty chill and I think that's from how we just kinda incorporated him into day to day life along side us. We didn't really change anything we do, we just adapted slightly but the routines stayed the same.
I've opted to let Stirling indulge in christmas stuff for his relative's sake but R and I opt out like the atheists we are. We are raising Stirling atheist, but indulging secular aspects of the holidays.
I nearly dropped him in the bath today. And he whacked over an uncapped diet coke and shorted out the macbook. R fixed it.
reading more of "bringing up bebe" and I really do see how we're doing the euro style parenting she's writing about, how she doesn't tend to hear french parents proclaim "I'm a bad mother", and I agree it's a terrible thing to accuse ourselves of for being less than perfect. Its one thing if you chain your kid to the bedpost and feed him rotten veg while you shoot heroin and service half the suburbs on hands and knees, but if you've failed to do something minor, don't fucking sweat it. I DO try to not measure my parenting skill by the mis=steps we make but by the little victories, that I got him to giggle his ass off again by tickling his ears, that we came home from a walk in the cold all smiles and rosy cheeked. (margaret....I know you apply the "i'm a bad mother" routine often. Please stop. It hurts my heart to see you constantly harp on your own self with your wonderful kids and your love for them. Just...y'know. give yourself a break.)
I also am trying to be more aware that R and I do things differently, and that we both make mistakes and its exhausting so cut each other a break. He wasn't too thrilled with the shorted macbook, and I should have had a cap on the bottle but in my tired haze, i thought there was. oops.
The author notes that it's good, healthy, normal for adults to have a balance of kid free time for themselves too. And this is something i wish we could do better but we lack a grandma nearby to babysit. Still, I do believe it's important. I'm still grappling with a bit of guilt for leaving him with a daycare to finish my diploma and telling myself it IS ok to go to the studio early and stay till closing to get my work done, R does it, I should be able to as well. He's only going to daycare 3 days a week, the rest he's with us.
And I just started the chapter on how they teach kids to eat and this is one thing I learned living in Vancouver: kids will generally try anything and should. I don't agree with the notion that kid food should be bland. We give Stirling tastes of what we're eating all the time. A bit of egg here, a taste of sauce there, a bit of yogurt, a taste of creamcheese...little things. He's already showing interest when we eat, he watches us intently. He's not unfamiliar with the idea that the spoon goes in the foodhole, even if his aim is right off. he has a sippy-bottle we're working into things because he wants to hold the bottle now.
As my doc in vancouver said "kids in other cultures eat what the parents eat." Upside too, the new babyfood offerings now seem so much more interesting than the mushystuff we had as kids. pear was a hit with him. At the rate he's gunning formula now, we should be starting him on proper baby servings quite soon.
friday is adventure day to the museum, gallery or aquarium and in this week's, it's the museum and if he starts channelling his Dino Rawring act again I'll just take him to the dino section and his rawrs will blend in with all the other kids going bugfucknuts in there too.:D
because sometimes, ya just gotta rawr.
( oh and on a friend's FB, one of her friends snottily posted a "study" that indicated childless women were SMARTER than ones with kids. I don't think a lobotomy came with the c sec, and in ways my own brain has grown to adapt to challenge his growing mind too. I don't think I'm "stupider" for having him and it was just this rotten thing to say. I respect those who opt to be childfree, this isn't a task you should feel obligated to take on, but no need to get shitty about it. On the flip side, parents, stop martyring yourself to your kids.)
I was trying to explain what having Stirling did for my creative/personal self. Confidence. No, really. I am more focussed and more confident in my work, and in dealing with people about what I need, and in general. There's a bit of "small boy watching, set the example" but I also felt a huge drive to maintain my own identity and it requires some self confidence to keep people from just going "Yer a mommy!" and nothing more. I come home from the studio exhausted and grimy and happy and i love my days with him too.
I find I doubt myself much less. I find I also have less patience for stupid adults.
One more semester to go. I have pictures of him at my bench and in april I'll have my diploma and I look forward to my wee boy in the audience when I get it. He'll be far too young to really understand right now, but I have a pretty pair of rubies, his birthstone, and one of them will be made into something just right for him.
I had an epic shitty abusive childhood in poverty and anger and rage and isolation. I want him to have so much better. I want him to know boundaries and love and respect and laughter. I think we're doing on on that front.
Anyway. got up to sit with him while the humidifier ran for a bit, wee dry coughs from our crazy dry winters.
time for me to dream of novels and scenes and work out the writing in my head and hopefully get the last half of the drafts done. Because later, there's dinosaurs and a reef tank to go check out.
