(no subject)

Being a parent to this small boy has turned my world upside down. In a good way. Mostly. I'm getting the balance of mom and goldsmith and author going, i feel less like I lost myself in the sickness and pregnancy.

Its easy since he is generally an easy kid. Feed him, he's pretty much content as it gets. when he cries, hunger's one thing. The couple times he's been truly distraught? break my little black heart.

We never expected to have him. It wasn't something we considered likely, though very much wanted. I don't like to say "miracle" because it was science and plain good luck of the genetics for this, but I do think "damn, amazing".

I'm still fervently pro choice. I love him with all I have but this is not something to be forced.

he's my little pal. I love being back at the bench, but I'm glad to get home to him too. Watching R with him is wonderful, he's smitten with the boy.

Rarely could a child be this adored,I think? Most parents do, but I am really enjoying his childhood and watching him become his own person.

Rawk on, wee dude. Rawk. On.

Signed, the momma in big bad boots.:D

heads roll

Went down to the clinic tower to get a new referral. They were amazed and baffled that the first one had been lost. They got me a new one right away, and I promptly carted it up one floor to the gyn's office and thus, drama unfolded.

I explained in detail what happened. They couldn't understand why someone from the doctor's office was calling me and who was it ( they happened to not say who they were, only that they were Dr K's office) and no record of my referral was logged into the system in any sort of variation on my name. Where that Aug 10th date came from is forever a mystery I suppose.

They tried to reiterate the process by which they work and I said I get that, but you failed. You didn't enter the info AT ALL. You lost my form, a privacy breach of sorts and yes indeedy I did contact the hospital about this and they were "Its probably no big deal". UM WRONG FUCKING ANSWER.

Roll heads roll heads. I finally state I don't care if I see a male or female doc and they discuss this as they enter my info into the system and ask me three or four more times the same question. Le sigh. As I'm leaving, they go "lets just put her in Dr. K's stack". OH. SHIT. HERE WE GO AGAIN.

In the elevator, a morose woman and her daughter say "They rescheduled my appt and didn't tell me."

They said they were booking into next year. i snotted off "Next september or earlier?" Good gods what a clusterfuck of an office.

Picked up the mail, and the post office manager gritched at me because amazon shipped our smallish order in a box you could fucking fit a buick in. Cabbed the lot of us home, then off to the baby fair, scooped samples of things, got some size 9m sleepers, got mistaken for Stirling's grandma by some phenomenally stupid people, marveled at the teenage girls who were attending with bags of loot and samples. ( SERIOUSLY?) and my intent to talk to several childcare nanny agencies came up telling me to contact the only one I've contacted so far. FEH.

Home, short nap. Now to do some writing. Tomorrow fisharium, sunday studio. Monday: veg o rama.

As I put on FB: don't mess with the mama in big boots.