(no subject)

got a lovely ref letter from my previous jewelry instructor ( an alum of the place i`m applying to!) and slept in LAAAAATE.

Which also for some reason meant a string of ultravivid-not quite nightmares but close. Seriously brain. Do not want.

Off to Cora`s shortly, and then R goes to the movies again and I have work here to be done.

Yargh tho. Weird dreams.

and I may have a semi-regular coffee and shenanigans `date in amsterdam with a canadian now netherlander girl who works on the same side of the city. ( friend of a friend sort of deal.)

So much to do before then, and SO madly excited.

(no subject)

got a lovely ref letter from my previous jewelry instructor ( an alum of the place i`m applying to!) and slept in LAAAAATE.

Which also for some reason meant a string of ultravivid-not quite nightmares but close. Seriously brain. Do not want.

Off to Cora`s shortly, and then R goes to the movies again and I have work here to be done.

Yargh tho. Weird dreams.

and I may have a semi-regular coffee and shenanigans `date in amsterdam with a canadian now netherlander girl who works on the same side of the city. ( friend of a friend sort of deal.)

So much to do before then, and SO madly excited.

(no subject)

aaand on the back of the people i know hatching their infant yesterday, another friend announces her pregnancy today.

Oh, please fuck yourself, universe.

Yay for everyone. Babies for everyone.

Whatever.

Block, hide,block block. I just can`t be fucking arsed to cope anymore.

I`m all out of happy for everyone else. I know people continue on having babies but cripes does it have to be like this.

I like what R just said. he watched rabbit hole ( which you are NOT seeing, NICO, he says) and at a loss support group someone tells the protag their 4 year old is with the angels now.

`what, god couldn`t just make one, he had to take a kid?

Bingo. even if i wasn`t atheist before, after all this I sure as mightily fuck would be now.

Go on, have all your babies. But don`t expect me to be all thrilled. I`m tired. Every time, its a kick in the gut for me, so for my own selfish preservation of sanity, I`ve had to start filtering a bit more.

Maybe I should make a post `Yay I`m not pregnant but lets go for number 4!`

(no subject)

aaand on the back of the people i know hatching their infant yesterday, another friend announces her pregnancy today.

Oh, please fuck yourself, universe.

Yay for everyone. Babies for everyone.

Whatever.

Block, hide,block block. I just can`t be fucking arsed to cope anymore.

I`m all out of happy for everyone else. I know people continue on having babies but cripes does it have to be like this.

I like what R just said. he watched rabbit hole ( which you are NOT seeing, NICO, he says) and at a loss support group someone tells the protag their 4 year old is with the angels now.

`what, god couldn`t just make one, he had to take a kid?

Bingo. even if i wasn`t atheist before, after all this I sure as mightily fuck would be now.

Go on, have all your babies. But don`t expect me to be all thrilled. I`m tired. Every time, its a kick in the gut for me, so for my own selfish preservation of sanity, I`ve had to start filtering a bit more.

Maybe I should make a post `Yay I`m not pregnant but lets go for number 4!`