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Jul. 9th, 2011 02:03 amThe sting of ending what was once a good friendship is finally easing. I was so angry and hurt today and I wish I could have made him understand how shitty he treated me online over the last while but I don't think he would either understand or care.
Which is not the person I knew as a friend, and I have to admit to myself that he's changed and maybe if the friendship was based soley on being in the same city and following his lead, it wasn't going to last. It hurts because I do recall we had some great laughs, but in the end, I was getting so very tired of not being granted a modicum of respect even if we don't agree or see eye to eye. I have lots of friends who I don't think in lockstep with, and its not an issue, but he seemed to act as if it was some personal failing on my part.
I also got tired of being sneered at, even in jest, that Toronto sucks because the unspoken words are always "and people from Toronto think they're the center of the universe." No offense kids, the GTA's a big place. Vancouverites are every bit as fucking myopic as we are, but somehow its a horrific crime that I don't know all that's on in vancouver? Seriously? That's the issue?
If it seems we don't give a fuck, its because we have our own issues, including the canadian stereotypical projection that everyone here is some workaday stuffed shirt bay street drone.
But I guess its more honorable to live hand to mouth on three jobs dreaming of condos we can't afford in vancouver, to keep our "real canadian" cred. I was born on this soil, within these borders and I haven't the need to prove my authenticity by being over the top in my canadianness. If that's a fucking problem, its not mine.
truthfully, I don't plan on ever visiting again. I'm done. I get it. Message received. And I will embrace my city now,warts and all, because its a place I've gotten politically and socially involved, because its a place I feel is HOME. i'm not expected to be something I'm not, which in truth vancouver always felt to me.
If that makes me an asshole, well, that's not my problem. If my not returning was SUCH a betrayal that he has to treat me with responses of a petulant toddler, well, I'm sorry, there's no relationship, no friendship. Its done. I have better things to do, and people to be with who are willing to engage intellectually in debate without making me feel like shit.
I mourn the loss of what was good but i suspect it was in failure the moment we finally revealed we were moving to Toronto and had no intention of moving west. From there on out it was constant and subtle comments of how shit this place was. I was never able to post positives without him getting defensive. ( a trait i find common in many a vancouverite, to be honest. why so tetchy?)
I think he owes me an apology but I'm not holding my breath. As far as I'm concerned, I have nothing to apologise for. I will not beg for forgiveness for not kowtowing to his ego.
If people think I'm something to be pushed around, think again. Really rethink again.
Which is not the person I knew as a friend, and I have to admit to myself that he's changed and maybe if the friendship was based soley on being in the same city and following his lead, it wasn't going to last. It hurts because I do recall we had some great laughs, but in the end, I was getting so very tired of not being granted a modicum of respect even if we don't agree or see eye to eye. I have lots of friends who I don't think in lockstep with, and its not an issue, but he seemed to act as if it was some personal failing on my part.
I also got tired of being sneered at, even in jest, that Toronto sucks because the unspoken words are always "and people from Toronto think they're the center of the universe." No offense kids, the GTA's a big place. Vancouverites are every bit as fucking myopic as we are, but somehow its a horrific crime that I don't know all that's on in vancouver? Seriously? That's the issue?
If it seems we don't give a fuck, its because we have our own issues, including the canadian stereotypical projection that everyone here is some workaday stuffed shirt bay street drone.
But I guess its more honorable to live hand to mouth on three jobs dreaming of condos we can't afford in vancouver, to keep our "real canadian" cred. I was born on this soil, within these borders and I haven't the need to prove my authenticity by being over the top in my canadianness. If that's a fucking problem, its not mine.
truthfully, I don't plan on ever visiting again. I'm done. I get it. Message received. And I will embrace my city now,warts and all, because its a place I've gotten politically and socially involved, because its a place I feel is HOME. i'm not expected to be something I'm not, which in truth vancouver always felt to me.
If that makes me an asshole, well, that's not my problem. If my not returning was SUCH a betrayal that he has to treat me with responses of a petulant toddler, well, I'm sorry, there's no relationship, no friendship. Its done. I have better things to do, and people to be with who are willing to engage intellectually in debate without making me feel like shit.
I mourn the loss of what was good but i suspect it was in failure the moment we finally revealed we were moving to Toronto and had no intention of moving west. From there on out it was constant and subtle comments of how shit this place was. I was never able to post positives without him getting defensive. ( a trait i find common in many a vancouverite, to be honest. why so tetchy?)
I think he owes me an apology but I'm not holding my breath. As far as I'm concerned, I have nothing to apologise for. I will not beg for forgiveness for not kowtowing to his ego.
If people think I'm something to be pushed around, think again. Really rethink again.
