May. 27th, 2014

R tells me he doesn't think women exactly assume their blind date will rape them and leave them in an alley.

I said probably not, but the fear is there, not because every guy does this, but because a lot of guys do act as if sex is theirs for demand, after a meal, or a movie. Setting aside every loopy girl I know in HS who used sex to manipulate guys, the power is still in their favor.

Guys are told to get the girl, get the pussy, be a man. Girls are told not to make a scene, don't challenge the guy, don't make more than them, don't outshine them, don't give them sex because then you're a slutty slut.

When I left an abusive boyfriend, welfare asked if I was sure I just couldn't reconcile, and save them the paperwork. All the checks, even for me, came in HIS name.

I went on a date in vancouver and ordered a salad ( wasn't hungry) and later I got demanded for sex, on the basis I had ordered salad.

Another date dumped me off the the overpass ramp because "he just didn't feel a connection." Didn't even leave me near a fucking bus stop. Pull over the car and lob you out.

I've never been physically abused, but I was in some pretty fucked up relationships. I want to say it's partly because we seem to teach guys this weird "be a gentleman and you'll get sex" thing, and then there's all the "Nah, be the manly man and the ladies will fall at your feet".

And we teach girls to play into this too, or that we'll just question what they're wearing or what they said when they go to the police with their clothes in tatters.

That aside, I don't anticipate any real change in US gun culture. I'm at the point of "another shooting, whatever. Its the price you wanted to pay for freedom, to blow the heads off innocents."

We've had shootings here, but not even close to the crap the US has, even accounting for population. Why is that, exactly? ( I know the answer.)

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